One sunny afternoon, an Arizona Highway Patrol officer pulled over a Harley Davidson roaring down the highway well above the speed limit. As the officer approached the rider, he was greeted by an elderly biker wearing a weathered leather jacket and an easy smile.
The officer, in a surprisingly good mood, decided to start with a friendly question.
“What’s your name, sir?” he asked.
“Fred,” the biker replied simply.
“Fred what?” the officer probed, expecting the usual surname to follow.
“Just Fred,” the old man answered matter-of-factly.
Intrigued, the officer decided to dig a little deeper. After all, “Just Fred” wasn’t exactly a standard response. Thinking he might just give the old-timer a warning instead of a ticket, he pressed on.
“Come on now, Fred. You had to have had a last name at some point,” the officer said with a playful smirk.
Fred sighed, leaned back on his bike, and said, “Well, I did have a last name once, but I lost it.”
By this point, the officer was sure he had a real character on his hands. Amused but curious, he decided to play along.
“Alright, Fred. I’ve got time. Tell me how you managed to lose your last name.”
Fred cracked a grin. “It’s a long story, officer, so bear with me.”
The officer folded his arms and nodded, signaling Fred to continue.
Fred began:
“I was born Fred Johnson. I worked hard, got good grades, and decided I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, and residency, and finally became a doctor. So, I was Fred Johnson, MD.
After some years, I got bored with being a doctor and decided to go back to school to become a dentist. It was my dream, so I worked hard and earned my degree. Then I became Fred Johnson, MD, DDS.
For a while, life was good, but then I got bored again. I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD.
Well, the ADA found out about the VD and took away my DDS. So, I was left as Fred Johnson, MD, with VD.
Then the AMA heard about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD. Now I was just Fred Johnson with VD.
And wouldn’t you know it, the VD eventually took away my Johnson. So now…” Fred paused for dramatic effect, “…I’m just Fred.”
The officer, who had been holding back laughter as best he could, couldn’t contain himself any longer. He doubled over in tears, laughing uncontrollably as Fred revved up his Harley and rode off into the distance.
Some stories just have a way of making a highway stop unforgettable!
