A priest offered a nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”

The priest apologized “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, “Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.”

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Little Johnny was going to his fathers house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon.
He was walking with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing “This damn thing is so heavy.”

A priest heard him and came out. “You shouldn’t be swearing” said the priest. “God hears you…He is everywhere…He’s in the chruch…He’s on the sidewalk…He’s everywhere.”

Then Little Johnny says: “Oh is he in my Wagon?”

The priest replies: “Yes Johnny, God is in your Wagon.”

Little Johnny says: “Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling.”

One man shared this advice on how he was able to make through 50 years of marriage:
At Saint Mary’s Catholic Church they have a weekly husband’s marriage seminar.

At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.

Luigi replied to the assembled husbands, “Well, I’ve tried to treat her nizza, spend money on her, but best of all is that I took her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!”

The Priest responded, “Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary.”

Luigi proudly replied, “I’m gonna go get her.”

Romi (to the doctor): “Doctor, my sister thinks that she is a lift.”
Doctor: “Tell her to come in.”

Romi: “I cannot”

Doctor: “Why so?”

Romi: “Because she does not stop at this floor.”