At a small parish in rural England there lived a priest, and several nuns.
One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, “Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon.”

The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as ‘our’ not ‘your.’

Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, “Father, I’ve noticed that your… I mean our hedge needs to be trimmed.”

The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn’t, but assured him she would look for it.

A few days later the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The entire parish was busy readying the church for the visit.

On the day the bishop arrived, the same nun came down the front stairs yelling, “Father! Father! I found your watch!”

The bishop said, “How wonderful my child. Where did you find it?”

After saying hello to the bishop, the nun turned to the priest and said, “I found it under OUR bed.”

One night, a man on his way home happened upon a drunk,
down on his hands and knees searching for something under a streetlight.

The man asked the drunk what he was looking for so diligently and the drunk said he had tripped and his Rolex wristwatch had broken loose from his wrist.

The man, being a kindhearted soul, got down on his hands and knees and began assisting the drunk looking for his watch. After about ten minutes without any success, the man asked the drunk exactly where he tripped.

“About a half a block up the street,” the drunk said.

“Why, pray tell,” the man asked the drunk, “are you looking for your watch here if you lost it a half a block up the street?”

The drunk replied, “The light is a lot better here.”

A tourist was driving on a back road in Arkansas during a heavy rainstorm.
He passed a cabin with a man sitting on the porch playing his fiddle.

“Why don’t you go inside on this rainy day?” the tourist asked.

“Because the roof leaks,” answered the fiddler.

“Well, then, why don’t you fix the roof?”

“Can’t fix a roof when it’s raining,” the fiddler answered.

“So, why don’t you fix the roof on a sunny day?”

“Cause the roof don’t leak on sunny days!” replied the fiddler.