I never cried. Not when I took a bullet in the line of duty. Not when my marriage fell apart because the job always came first. Not even when my old man passed. But tonight, sitting on my couch with Rex’s head in my lap, I couldn’t stop the tears.
His breathing was slow, uneven. The vet said it was time—his body was giving out, and keeping him here would be selfish. But how the hell was I supposed to let go of the best damn partner I ever had?
Rex wasn’t just a dog. He saved my life more times than I could count. Took down suspects twice his size, sniffed out drugs, found missing kids—hell, he was braver than half the officers I’d worked with. And now he was here, curled up against me, his once-powerful frame thin and weak, his eyes tired but trusting.
“You did good, buddy,” I whispered, stroking his fur. “Better than good.”
His tail thumped once—slow, but there. A weak attempt to comfort me when I was supposed to be the strong one.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand, but it didn’t stop the shaking in my chest. The house felt too quiet, too still, like it already knew he wouldn’t be coming back from the vet tomorrow.
I leaned down, pressing my forehead against his. “I love you, pal,” I choked out. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
He let out a soft sigh. And in that moment, I wished more than anything that I could freeze time, just for one more day.
I woke up the next morning without wanting to open my eyes. The sun peeked through a gap in the curtains, landing on my face like some cosmic reminder that the world was still turning, even if I wanted it to stop. Rex was still asleep, curled in the same spot on the couch. I could feel his gentle breaths, a slower rhythm than what they used to be, but still strong enough to remind me he was here.
I stayed there, eyes closed, hand resting on his back. Memories started flashing like an old slideshow in my head: Rex sprinting across a junkyard, leaping over a broken fence to apprehend a suspect… Rex sniffing out a missing little girl in the woods behind her grandmother’s house… the day we graduated from the K-9 academy together, me beaming with pride as he sat there, posture perfect, ears perked up, ready to take on the world. We were unstoppable then, or so it felt.
Finally, I forced myself off the couch. The day’s routine was set: get him to the vet by noon, sign the papers, hold him as they eased his pain once and for all. My chest tightened at the thought, but I tried to focus on giving him the best last few hours I could. I coaxed him outside into the backyard, where the grass was still damp from the morning dew. Normally, he would’ve run around, nose to the ground, searching for anything interesting. Today, he just stood quietly, leaning against my leg, looking up at me as if to say, “I’m tired.”
I prepared a simple breakfast, though his appetite was barely there. He took a few bites, then lay down near my feet, content just to be close. I found myself wishing that time really would slow down, that this moment could last. But life doesn’t work that way.
Sooner than I wanted, it was time to head to the vet. I lifted him carefully into the passenger seat of my old patrol SUV—my official cruiser had been turned in years ago, after I left active duty. I kept this personal SUV as a little reminder of who I was and the work Rex and I had done together. As I backed out of the driveway, my mind drifted to a phone call I got late last night from a retired sergeant named Millie. She and I hadn’t talked in years, but somehow she’d heard about Rex. She’d left a voicemail saying she wanted to be at the vet’s office if I’d let her. Something in her voice told me she understood exactly what I was going through.
We arrived, and sure enough, Millie was waiting in the small parking lot, leaning against her sedan. Her hair was gray now, pulled back in a tight bun, but her eyes were just as sharp and caring as I remembered. Millie wasn’t the hugging type, at least not on the job, but she wrapped me in her arms the minute she saw Rex lying across the seat.